Monday, January 21, 2013

Fooling Around With My Fears

 I couldn't help it... I got bored!

Its winter and its rainy and dark and cold in Vancouver. So I cant really work on the motorbikes, or do any exterior house work etc, and even my outdoor sport (ultimate) has stoped for the core winter months... Not much of anything to do really.
Now, if I were "normal" then Id probably be quite happy to curl up on the couch and watch TV for a few months, but I just cant seem bring my self to do that... But it also seems Im still not able to just "be still" yet either (not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing?),   So, What to do?

Well, I decided to try "Skeleton".

Me on the finish straight. (my fastest speed for the session was 99.4Kmh)

Im sure most people know what it is but for those few who dont, its a "sliding" sport like Luge or Bobsled which all-in-all are just glorified variations on Tobogganing... which everyone that lives anywhere there is snowfall and a hill side does when they are a kid :))

Why Skeleton of all things?
Well, mostly because I thought it would scare me quite a lot, but it does allow personal control and skill (unlike say bungee-jumping), and it is in a situation where I cant really get hurt... Well thats what I was hoping anyway.

Hmmm, maybe I should explain that I do get scared by falling and speed and heights and drowning etc. like most people do :)
Even though I have and do participate in all sorts of "adventure" activities like rock climbing, mountaineering, paragliding motorbiking etc. etc., its not because I am not scared... I do these things despite my initial fears and while my fears do decrease with practice, they never disapear! They are always still there in the background. As an example, Ive climbed the "Nose" route on El Capitan in Yosemite, California which is over 1000m high vertical/overhanging rock face that took me over four days to climb up... Pretty brave huh? Well, despite that, if I have not climbed for about a year and I then go to an indoor rock climbing gym, and try to climb an easy (say grade 5.8 or so) route on "top-rope", where there is absolutely no "real" risk of any injury, I guarantee that I will be "shaking like a leaf" when Im 10 metres off the floor!... In that year off, Ive just forgotten how to over-ride my fear of falling with my conscious mind! And its the same for every one of those other activities too.

And so, why oh why do I want to scare my self?...
"Adrenaline junky" I expect you are all thinking, and while Im sure there is some of that (A bit of excitement can certainly make one feel "re-envigorated" about life, which would certainly help with the "winter doldrums"); But thats only a part of it... You see, I wanted to try to take a look at myself when I get scared and try to watch "whats going on" so to speak.
Ive certainly thought about this sort of stuff from time to time, and the thinking part is always easy to do when your not actively dealing with a situation that evokes lots of fear, but is sooo much harder to do when you are "in it" so to speak.

... And my thinking goes like this...
My fear is not an instant reaction to things (even though my reflexes may be)... It is a very fast reaction, but its definitely not "instant", and in fact it is a "choice" that I make!!
My fear is a result of "ideas" that I associate with the "situation"... A bit more explanation is that my fear does not come from the images Im seeing, sounds Im hearing or the physical sensations Im experiencing. As soon as I sense my surroundings, my "mind" starts making all sorts of "associations" (imagined or real) with past experiences (mine or others that Ive heard about), and its those recalled past experiences that my mind "projects" (and often amplifies/exagerates) as possible immediate future consequences, and I think thats what results in my "fear"... which in turn results in a big hit of adrenaline and my "fight or flight" instincts kick in to "do something about it".
And there-in lies the problem... Because when Im seriously scared, Im just "reacting", and not "responding" (the same for all of us no doubt)... There is little or no "rational" thinking going on with regard to anything but the instant... and that can easily result in making "bad choices". And actually, there is also a quite high likelihood that a persons "reaction" to fear is simply to "lock up" and do absolutely nothing too.
Now there are lots of good evolutionary reasons why we behave in these ways, but humans have also evolved the ability for "rational thought", and there are lots of "fear" situations that would be better "dealt with" by a rational response rather than an instinctual response... The trick is of course, how to over-ride the instincts with the rational mind...
And the answer to that is two fold:
1) Modify your instinctual reactions (our reactions can be somewhat "programed by repetition) to be in line with your rational analysis of a given situation by practicing it lots.
2) Reduce the fear level of a given situation by simulating the situation without the consequences, to make it easier for rational thought to over-ride the "fear reaction", again by practicing lots.
And both of these components work together to reinforce each-other; and of course thats what we all do when we learn to overcome any fear.

But, somewhere during that process, we "lose" (or at least diminish) our fear... because our "mind" learns to down-play the negative consequence thinking... We mentally "choose" to not be so scared!
But it takes will and self control, because in many cases, those "negative consequences" can be very very real!
... And I want to learn more about the process, and I want to try to "watch myself"...

So, back to skeleton which is a sport/activity that Im going to use to "experiment with my fear".

It just so-happens that with the 2010 Winter Olympic games having been held in Vancouver/Whistler, I now have easy acces to a world class "sliding facility"... One of only four in North America... And wouldn't you know it, its the "fastest" one in the world! :)))

There are three sports that are run at the sliding centre, they are Bobsled, Luge, and Skeleton.
Of these, I believe that Luge is the fastest and arguably requires the greatest skill... In fact, they start training olympic lugers at about age 10 and if you start after about 15 years old, you have basically no chance of being "olymic level"! But Im not necessarily after the hardest or fastest sport, and thats good too because I simply wouldnt get access to the track to do it - you have to be a potential contender to get invited to try that sport!
The track is however available to "tourist" experiences for both Bobsled and Skeleton, but the Bobsled option gives you absolutely no control at all... You sit in the back of the sled and a "professional driver" pilots the sled down the bottom 1/2 of the track. And you get one run and it costs nearly $200!
As for the Skeleton; for the same price, you get two runs, by your-self , face first,on a tiny sled, with your face about 10cm above the surface of the ice, down the bottom 1/3 of the track... That sounds like the option I want!! :)))
Oh, some more technical details... The Olympic Skeleton runs at whistler are the full length of the 1500m track (for Men), it takes them about 55 seconds to do the run, and their top speed is a bit less than 150Kmh, and they experience about 5G of acceleration in the fastest corner! ... Yeah, that sounds  pretty scary!


The track map (starts top right, heads toward lower left, and ends with the long straight heading back up-hill after the biggest curve at bottom left).

So, I went and did the "tourist" two runs a couple of weekends ago (Ill describe the experience in a bit), but that was just two runs and I found it sufficiently fun for me to want to do some more... So this last weekend I attended a "training camp" session that is two more two hour sessions with fewer people and quite a few runs and quite a bit lower cost... And the result of having now done about a dozen runs is that Ive found a new sport/activity that Im going to try to pursue in the future :)))

And what was it like?

Well, it was indeed scary!... but I found it to be a lot of fun too.
As you would expect, the first run was the scariest, given that you dont really have any idea of what it will be like... just a lot of speculation based on some minimal but significant facts.... Like, it will take 30 seconds to do the run and your top speed will be about 90-100Kph...Face first down an Ice chute!!!
But then again, how dangerous can it be if they let any old tourist do it... It must be pretty safe... Right?

First of course, they give us all a sit down presentation with the basics of whats gonna happen.
Then we all get quickly fitted for helmets and with goggles and jaw protectors...Hmm I notice the helmets are all a bit scuffed up on the front there... people are not very carfull with the equipment it seems... And then we tromp out-side and up the side of the track to the lowest of the track entry points.
Then the instructor gives you a static demonstration of how to ride your sled (which they chose from a selection for you)... Basically, "be a sack of potatoes" but keep your legs together and held above the ice, and keep your arms tucked into your sides and hang on to the sled at all times... Emphasize "Dont Let Go"!


Instructor demonstrating how to "assume the position".

Then they call someone's name over the speaker system (Because the tourists who are "sliding" are entertainment for other tourists who are watching, and they try to make a bit of a show of it :) )
And that person moves forward to the entry ramp and "assumes the position" on the sled... Which by the way, is way heavier than you would think, each weighing in at about 20-30Kg or so!


Skeleton sleds (bottom side)... The top has a sort of saddl/ frame/cage that you lay your chest in (so you cant slide sideways off the sled.

And then after a bit of communication with the track control people, the instructor, holding your ankles, gently slides you forward off the flat ice and onto the sloping entry ramp of the track... and just "lets you go".. and now there is no turning back!
The track is of course "rock hard" water ice.


Just after the "gentle release".

And you slowly slide away into the first seemingly very gentle curve...
And the speed is still pretty low at about 20Kmh as you come out of that ...
And building to 30 into the shallow second curve and thats not too bad...
And out at about 50 and building...
And into the third at quite a clip, And this time you are feeling some G-forces.
And by the time you come out Im guessing its about 70Kmh ... And thats quite fast enough thankyou!..
But there are no brakes of any sort! and it keeps getting faster and the fourth turn just rushes up at you in a couple of seconds (while you are having a good sized dose of adrenaline!) But its still getting faster and everything is just flashing past with a blur and the noise of the sled runners on the ice.. But you can see another corner...And the fifth corner just screems straight at you with the roar of the runners on the ice and the G-forces just slam you "down" on the sled and your head is pushed down so hard and fast that your helmet jaw piece is dragging on the ice, and then the Gs let up for just a second so you can lift your head a little.. Just in time to see yet another corner that wrenches you into its grip and slams your face back into the ice again for a good three seconds or so and then the sled is wrenched back the other way and gravity returns to normal as you enter the up-hill deceleration straight at the finish... Your still zooming along though the speed is dropping quickly... but you,ve come out of the curve headed diagonally into a straight... The sled glances firmly off one of the track ice walls giving your shoulder a real whack and reflects to the other wall at a steeper angle which slams your other shoulder and repeats the cycle with reducing speed but pretty similar impact... and again... and again... and again!
Till you finally come to a stop about half way up the run-out, and one of the staff sticks their boot behind the sled to stop you sliding back down the track...pheeeew!
And then you kinda gingerly get your-self up off the sled and grabbing hold of the low ice side-wall you haul your dazed and confused and adrenalin effused self over onto the adjacent metal walkway while trying not to flounder too badly on the glass smooth ice of the track with your super slippery runners.... and your done the first run!


"pinned to the wall".


The "ping-pong" finnish.

And then you can enjoy the experience in retrospect for a minute or two till you hear the next tourist "potato sledder" coming down the track (no, not screeming...there's no time to scream, just the sound of the sled in the track :) ).
And they too do the "ping pong" finish to the ride... And they too look all dazed and confuzed and unsteady on their feet with those wide eyes... And you watch them slowly morph from that state into the post-adrenaline high with eyes still a bit wide and breathing hard but soon a smile replaces the blank look and then they start talking with the rest of you, and then laughing at the next sliders ping-pong finish...  and then the next slider arrives in the same way etc.
And then they march you all back to the top of the run again with everyone chatting animatedly amongst themselves. And then you do it again.
And the second run is just a bit less scary and everyone is less dazed and the smiles are bigger etc...

But I have to say, there is also an aspect to it that you dont get from my description above and that I wasnt really expecting, but that in retrospect makes perfect sense...
I was kind of expecting the ride to be like riding a bike fast through curves with lots of leaning and banking... But its not really!... though of course you are in fact doing lots of curving and banking...
It turns out that because you are down inside a three-sided ice tube, that you dont have any "real" horizon to take refernce from, and so when you are on a straight, it looks straight and flat and you feel the usual gravity. And when you see a curve coming, you know which way its going to go, but what you "feel" as you do it is not the curve to the side like you expect but rather, the sled does a "wrenching" rolling transition into the curve and then the G-forces pin you "down" on the side of the track; so that what you feel is the wrench-roll of the start of the curve but while you are in the steady curve, it feels like you are just going straight but with stronger gravity and it looks like you are going up a hill in a straight line!... and at the end of the curve (which you can see if your face isnt grinding along the ice because of the G-forces), there is another wrenching roll the other way and gravity returns to normal.  So from a mathematical/engineering perspective, its kinda like you are riding the "first derivative" of the tracks curves (Im an engineer thats the best way for me to describe it :) )

And what about the "fear" stuff?

Well, yeah, its "in progress"...
It doesnt scare me now nearly as much as that first run, but its still definitely a rush each time, and the fear is definitely still there, and Im sure it will come out strongly again when I have a "bad" run!...
On this last weekend, there were nine people sliding... Of those, three were more experienced and were starting at the entry above the one that the other six of us were at. Out of the six of us at the lower start, one was advanced enough to progress up to the higher start after the first day and the rest of us were very happy to just stay at the lower start... because...
But, by the end of the second session there was only one person left using the high start...and he had a baddly bruised elbow/forearm. Another one stopped after a concussion on the first day. Another had a really big lump/bruise on the forehead (through the helmet!) and the guy that moved up had two really bumpy difficult runs and went staright back to using the lower start. At the lower start, most people were still bouncing randomly of the walls at the end of the run (not yet in control of steering the sled), and one guy even managed to get completely rolled upside down on the second last turn and came to a stop on his back, but thankfully was uninjured!
The higher start only gets you about a 15Kmh higher top speed but it adds about 4 turns and takes an added 17 seconds... And its those four more turns at high speed that were bringing people to grief...
Sooo, while it seems to be safe enough if you use the lowest start and act like "a sack of potatos", As soon as you start trying to control the ride (which is done mostly with subtle and very carefully timed weight shift at "just the right places") and/or move to the higher start with more cornering, you can get your self into real trouble very quickly.

For my part, Im gonna do it some more and see what happens :)

A couple more pic's:
... actually its pretty hard to take good pictures of this high speed sport with a little point and shoot camera that has a trigger delay... You often get a result like this:

Just missed a bobsled :)


Got it this time but its too small in the picture :)


Up close with a Bob.
 
Two more Skeletons "pinned to the wall" in the last, biggest, and fastest turn on the track...
 "Thunderbird turn".