Time for another update.
I have found myself some paying work... Well, actually, it more or less found me!
I have of course dropped in to say hello to my assorted friends over the past couple of months that I have been back here in Vancouver. And Ive been telling them about my "plan" to do some work here for a while but then to do something else (though not really sure what).
Well, one of those friends at my old employment mentioned this to some people in one of the engineering groups that was very hard pressed for people at the moment. One of the managers in that group then phoned me up and asked me if I was interested in a contract position for a couple of months (till about the end of November) doing some testing for them...
Now, a year ago, I probably would not have been interested in a contract position, and probably even less interested in working for that company again; But now, after my year of wanderings and reflections, I find that it doesnt bother me at all, and that the short term aspect of the position is exactly what I want. The pay is not nearly what I used to earn but thats also a good thing I think since it is enough for me to pay the bills and save some for later but its not enough to make me want to continue to do the job for more than a few months. Likewise, the responsibility of the position is minimal (other than the quality of my own work of course) and again, that seems to be just what I want at the moment.
So, I'm all of a sudden back in the daily work routine of a "normal" person.
The down side of that is that at the moment I find this quite a challenge. I of course expected that it would be a bit difficult at first but thats not really what Im talking about.
The challenge is that I just dont feel any connection to the work or the role or the career or the people there any more... It just feels dead to me.
I have no problem doing the work and I hold myself to high standards of quality but its no longer the life for me! (at least for the present anyway)
I look around at the other people there and its clear that most of them are there simply because it pays them well and thats enough... its a job. Those people have other things in their lives that they live for and its usually their families but it aint the job! - I find that I am now one of these people but I dont have a family and Im now far less attached to the idea of having "stuff" and of living out my days in this expensive city and building myself another version of the same "Rut" that I left over a year ago...
Years ago when I first took a job with this company, I did feel some alignment with its goals and I had career aspirations and I wanted to make a difference and do some good and be a part of creating something successfull.... but thats all been gradually worn away over the years and I had lost sight of those lofty ideals in the daily struggles of life in the highTech industry.
But now I see my past in a different light... and I WILL NOT let it happen to me again :)
So, yes, I have a job and it is good that I have it and I am earning some money.
But, NO, it is absolutely not a job that will last beyond a few months.
And I am very happy with that :)
