The "L" Word

No, Not Love Actually.   :))

I was thinking of the opposite....Loneliness.

Ive decided that a larger break from SanPedro is in order.
Over the past four and a half months, I have achieved quite a lot down here:

I am now the owner of an official (all documents and permissions in place) business that seems to be reasonably profitable. I am also building a bit of a reputation it seems as people come to me specifically to rent bikes, having heard about me from other tourists in Antigua and Xela (nearby cities). I now also seem to be doing significantly more business than the other bike rental place in town (their bikes and service are typically Guatemalan...not great!), so thats also good news. And, now that we are through what they say is probably the quietest period, there is no doubt in my mind that with a couple more bikes the business could cover all my expenses year round.
I have successfully managed to set up bank accounts (turns out that this is far from straight forward here for foreigners) and transfer $Cdn into the country and have got this cycle time down from a week or two when I first did it to just a day or two now.
I have even purchased a small (very small) block of land that I think has good potential for a small house with a nice view. Though it is not exactly what I was looking for and I will not start building for the present.

I also know lots more of the locals, and who does what in the town which is good, and have also broadened my circle of friends with a couple of really great people that I didnt know before I came... I am very slow and selective about "quality" friendships, so having found a couple of people who I really value in just a few months is really good progress!

But!...

It just aint enough....I dont feel I have roots here yet!
So, Ive had a look at why that is and it seems it is because nothing I am doing or have done while here is "with passion"... and Im afraid thats a "MUST have" if I am to settle down here!

Now there are several things that qualify as "passions" for me and I truly intended to pursue them when I came down here... But as yet, I have to say that I have not succeeded.
I have tried on multiple fronts to make progress on these goals but for one reason or another I have unfortunately not managed to "make things happen". Its true I could definitely have done more on some fronts, but on the whole I think I have given it a good shot... It just seems to "not be happening" for the moment...

So, what am I to do in the mean time?

Well, Ive decided that Im heading back to Vancouver in a couple of weeks with the intention of sorting out a bunch of stuff that I cant do from here (not the least of which is starting a fingerprint check with the Canadian police so I can start immigration processes here in Guat', and of course going in to "have a personal chat" with my bank!).
But Ive also decided that I will pick up my big motorbike and maybe my paraglider (two items that hold at least some memory of that mystical "passion" for me) before heading back to Guate'... which is for the present, still the "home" plan.
Ive also decided that while Im there, since I have the opportunity and the season is perfect, I will do another bike tour up North to Alaska and back before heading South again. It will then depend on how I feel as to if I keep riding South for Argentina or rest up in San Pedro for a while.

And thats what has got me thinking about loneliness...

The long riding in foreign countries with every day having the constant challenge of communicating, finding food and shelter, and basically "keeping body and soul" together. Its tough work and I have to admit that I find the idea somewhat "tiring" even before I start doing it.
And that seems kinda weird since I have the incredible fortune of being able to do it (financially, physically, skills etc) and it would qualify as an absolute "dream opportunity" for many adventurous people, but Im only "luke warm" about it....
...What an ungrateful prick I can be sometimes!

But its just the loneliness that bites...The rest truly is an absolute privilege...
And it seems that the loneliness can reduce all the other privileges you can think of to just so much "dust"!

... If you let it that is...
But Im gonna resist that outlook as much as I can and focus on the good stuff instead :)

So despite the probable loneliness, Im gonna go touring again....
To miss-quote the group "Alabama3" :
...Traveling at the speed of the sound of loneliness; Out there running just to be on the run...


So, for those of you who dont know it, Im here to tell you that love and sharing, and relationships with friends are "way up there" as the most valuable of gifts in our lives... Being grateful for them and savoring them while we can (since inevitably, all things pass) is ALWAYS time well spent!