Matters of the Heart

And as I sit here "reviewing" things, I find my attention turning to "matters of the heart"...
And I spend a while thinking back over lifes twists and turns... a dalliance here and a flirtation there, enamoured with that one and alured by this one. Momentary distractions and long held infatuations... More of lifes mysteries :)

... And no doubt the mysteries will continue in due course :)

But Ive been considering the "qualities" of my hearts past "choices"... You know, Why it was that I was interested in this girl at this time and yet wholely uninterested by someone similar (or even the same one) at another time? And in many cases, the question becomes more blatantly "What the heck was I thinking !?"   :))
Yes, my heart has made some "odd" choices from time to time...

And so Ive tried to dig back into my past memories as best I can to review the largest possible sample size... and on the whole Id have to say that, .. well,... My "heart" doesnt have a bloody clue about what sort of a person Im looking for!... But then again, my head realy doesnt know either, so I may be being a bit hard on my heart here :)) ...

Im no spring chicken at 46yo and though Im far from "prolific" in my love interests, Id have to admit there have been a good number available to review. Note, these are "love interests" and not necesarily "relationships" which is to say its a review of all the people who Ive been interested in rather than just the ones who I got to spend any intimate time with. And so, Ive done my sort of "gut feel" statistical analysis using my mental faculties (the head) rather than my emotional faculties (the heart) about which ones of those "interests" were likely to have had much chance of any enduring relationship...
And the result is that its "all over the map"!...
Id speculate that the "average" result is barely better than an absolute random sample of the global female population (only including humans of course! :)  )  Its really quite surprising how "irrational" my heart has been!

Now of course, I am the first to admit that "love" is far from a "rational" experience, and that in the end, what works is a "whole package" rather than any "planable/predicatble" combination of traits/features. And yes of course, Im a male and libido in  its ebs and flows has a tendancy to "override" rational choices its true. Though Id have to say in my own defence on that point that I have absolutely never been interested in or able to "persue" intimacy with someone based solely on the urgings of my libido... No, if there is no emotional interest then its just "dead in the water" right from the start so to speak.
But, back to the confounding irrationality of my "hearts" choices... I mean, come on!, you would at least imagine there would be a little more than some basic "guide-lines" or "leanings" that  my "hearts" choices would somewhat align with my "heads" preferences!...
But it seems not!
There are clear examples of my heart being strongly interested by people with MASSIVELY incompatible personalities, interests, habits, lifestyles etc..And not just one "missaligned" aspect at a time either... Several cases where the "whole person" seems to be a "terrible fit"!
It seems that my heart doesnt give a "flying fat rat" about any rationality whatsoever... Its so far out its actually hilarious :)))

... And so, what is one to do?...

Well, not a lot, I think ... Like they say, "There'll be no safety in numbers when the right one walks out of the door"...  Which is to say that even though it seems that I cant trust my heart;... I realistically have no choice!...
For I can hardly "make" my self fall in love with someone who I "think" would be a good or logical choice, and likewise I can hardly deny my interest in someone who I "think" I should not be interested in! (I can of course control my actions though)
Indeed, logic and rationality are immensely usefull skills its true, but at the end of the day they are just tools that are in the service of our emotions... We are essentially "creatures of desire" and what our heart wants we use our heads to try to attain/achieve... It is our "hearts" that actually set the agenda and our "mind" just likes to think its in charge :)
And so I think Im more or less "doomed" to have to figure out any future "compatibilities" by the same old "trial and error" method that Ive been using thus far...
And in my review, there are of course more than an occasional case in where the emotions of both people involved started out somewhat aligned and so it was worth "exploring" the possibilities. And so we did, but after a short time it became apparent to one party or the other that it wasnt "right" and we each went our seperate ways fairly quickly. Though its always a bit of a dissapointment, I think those partings were fairly amicable on the whole.
And then there are quite a few cases where Ive met people who I thought seemed very compatible with me and who seemed somewhat interested as well... But who were "attached" already and so there was nothing for either of us to do other than "waive as we sail on past on our seperate ways"... And Ill always wonder about those ones :)

But its not all "bad news" as they say...
In my review I must also admit there are some few cases  (though precious few they seem) where I have to say Ive been very fortunate indeed to have found myself interested in someone with a very compatible personality and certainly no obvious incompatiblities in other aspects... and by "outrageous fortune..." (sorry, Shakespere is bound to creep in when it comes to English speaking matters of the heart :)  ) that other person has been both "unattached" and "interested" in me in return... And those few cases have been the most rewarding relationships of my life :)

... And yet they did not last... which does rather cast something of a shadow on their rememberance!...
... and of course begs the question of  "Why did they not last?"

And to that I can only say that it was again because of my "heart"... I was compelled!...
Yes, my heart was "interested" and I followed it where it lead... And my heart did not become wholely "disinterested" over time either!..., But neither did it become "more strongly engaged" as time went by!... and that was the doom!
You see, for whatever foolish reason, I decided (and have repeatedly done so through my history) that though I definitely cared for (and still care for) them, I didnt care "enough"...
What kind of a thing to say is that? I hear you ask...
Well,... Its my "truth" as best I can say it... The love I felt was "not enough" and so one way and another, those relationships each came to an end in their intimacy and though I still love them, they are now treasured friendships instead.

...But how do you know they were not "enough"?, How do you know that they would not have grown to become "enough"? And how do you know what is "enough" when you have never had a relationship that met that criteria anyway???....

All good questions to be sure!

And the short answer to that is "Because its written on my heart!"...
The only evidence that I can produce in support of that is at best very very circumstantial... In barely any more adequate detail I can elaborate slightly by saying that I am quite sure I can feel "more strongly engaged" and that I would recognise the "enough" when/if I experience it because I have felt that "enough" in my dreams!....
And I have few enough remembered dreams to be sure, and Im the first to admit that there often seems to be very little in dreams that actually translates in any "real" way to waking life... But what I can say is that the emotional content of dreams is One of the (if not the only) highly translatable aspects of dreams to our waking lives... I believe that how we "feel" in dreams are exact analogys of how we "feel" when we are awake... Im no psychologist but Id hazard a guess that in some way or other, thats exactly why we have dreams in the first place!.... And so Im saying that I have felt "enough" in my dreams and though others may find it an inadequate reason or a poor choice, Ive decided that Im "not going to settle" till Ive felt something in waking life that comes pretty close or that I believe has a good chance of "getting there"!

But I admit the price seems high... And not so much for myself either... Whenever one of those relationships is "ending" it causes both people a lot of pain... And it just feels terrible to be causing someone that I care a great deal about that sort of pain... I just hate it!
And it is my most enduring sadness, that I have deeply hurt some amazingly beautiful people who have cared for me and who clearly have deserved to evoke in me that love that is"enough"...
...Sadly, it seems that my heart just will not "engage" ??  :(

...hmmm Ive been using the terms "head" and "heart" here as if they are some sort of seperate entities and in effect I might seem to be "blaming" one of them for my actions... Almost like saying "The devil made me do it!"... But it is not so... Its just an effect of my attempt to communicate by describing aspects of the psyche as independent entities (as is often done in modern language and by our lay-persons limited understandings of concepts from psychological science).... But, to be clear, there is no one to blame but myself  (as a whole) and the truth is that for "complex personal reasons" I have deliberately chosen not to engage!...  Ive been looking for something else/more/other...

And so, thats where I am these days in "matters of the heart"...
But I find Im not disconsolate at not having found "the one", and though these days I find Im less and less inclined to "actively seek" an intimate relationship (and not least for the reason of not wanting to hurt anyone else) I definitely do remain open to the possibility... And like I said above, its not like I realy have any choice anyway... again, Im "compelled" and I'll still follow my "heart" wherever it leads me :))
 But again, I find for now that Im more or less "content" to spend my time trying to learn more from my past experiences....

...well, until the right one walks out of the door... :))

Sea Of Dreams

The weather here in Vancouver is grey and rainy and its that quiet time between Christmas and New Year...
So Im gonna take the opportunity to do a bit of a self-review of "where Im at" and maybe ponder "where Im going".


Its been a bit of a busy eighteen months since I got off the motorbike after riding up and down the full length of the Americas...
When I first got back, I was staying at a friends place while there was a tennant still renting my place. I kept myself busy though by working away at my custom motorbike project and building a little model boat in the evenings...
Then I got my house back and discovered that I had a lot more reno/rebuild work to do on the house than I had initially thought... So, then it was six months of solid work on the house with a full basement refit and then a new upstairs kitchen and hardwood floors and windows and doors etc. And that was all done while I was working a contract too... I was really quite tired out by the time I moved back into my house. I basically went through a whole year with virtually no social contact outside a couple of close friends, and no out-door activities or sports at all.
And so over the last six months Ive taken it a bit easier while working another short contract and Ive been playing a bit of frisbee and doing some Tai Chi in the evenings and even some yoga in the mornings to try to get a bit more physical health... But socially Ive still been keeping very much to my-self.
And finally, for the last couple of months Ive been swanning off to Australia and SE Asia to catch up with my far-flung family and to see some sights and get some sun on my skin.

Yes indeed, a busy eighteen months, but more significantly, a very expensive eighteen months!
Even though Ive been working a fair bit and brought in a good amount of earnings, my expenses have been a lot larger than my income... Id say that only about half of the money really "needed" to be spent ( well in the next couple of years anyway  -for the work on the house), but the other half was just me doing things I wanted to do...
Im not sure others would necessarily understand, but for me, while I was riding the motorbike it was about three years of virtually not doing any "projects" at all, and essentially not having any "home" either... It gave me lots of time to think about and filter through the related things that I really wanted to do... So, when I finally did get the chance... I "Went for it!" regardless of the fact that I needed to take on significantly more debt than I would have liked.

...Was it worth it?...
Well, Id have to say that Yes, I think it was.

Now there is absolutely no question that many of the things I spent money one were purely optional and had nothing to do with "need" at all... (Motorbike, Table, Bronco, some of the "trimmings" in the house). But they were on the mental "list" of things I wanted to do this life time, and so I find that I dont have any regrets about the choice to "get them done".
I used to actually keep such a "list" on paper and every year at about this time, Id review the list and cross off the things Id done over the past year and then think of some new things to add to the list to keep it current to my changing "aspirations" over time. If a year passed and I found that I hadnt managed to check anything off the list, then I made a serious effort the next year to make up for it... It felt like it was a reasonably effective way of me ensuring I didnt get too "stagnated".
But I have not bothered to keep the "list of dreams" at all for the last several years as my life definitely changed direction there, and Ive really only now just hunted around and found the old list ... Just to see whats changed...

And as expected... a lot has changed :))

Im not going to dive into any details of the old list (since its "of the past" now anyway) but well over half the items on the list just dont seem relevant any more. And about half of the rest seem to have actually been checked off over the intervening few years... Not surprising since I really did just throw caution to the wind and set about "doing things" :))

And even for those things on the list that do remain more or less "relevant", I have to say that there are virtually none of them that I feel "compelled to pursue" or that I would feel "dissapointed" about should it turn out that when "my time is up", I havn't managed to achieve... And that I would say is a very different way of being for me as compared to the "me" of five years ago.
Of course I guess I wont really know if thats how I truely feel about it all till Im actually confronted with my own death, but as best as I can tell, Im being quite honest with myself here... And its in line with my musings on the same lines a year or two back in my "Judgement" post, so it feels right...

And so this time as I sit here quietly and take a look at my inner self; Trawling for dreams while my little boat chugs along through the ocean of lifes possibilities; I find my lines are coming up bare?... Have I over-fished my dreams?... No, thats not right... There are still dreams there... I can see them sparkling and flashing down in the depths... Its more like I just dont feel the need to catch them and bring them onto the deck any more...I feel content with the ones Ive already landed... My hold is full... I have more than enough to last me through!

Truely, I have had such a furtunate life, full of so many different experiences... More than I can possibly make sense of...More than I could possibly digest. There is so much learning I can still do from this wealth of memories...I hardly know where to start with what Ive got!
And indeed, that seems to me to be a major part of "what its all about"... Learning... Growing... Becoming...
... And Ive got many years of material to work with on that front :)
True enough, this is but a moment in time; And no doubt as more time passes Ill find that I want for some other "something" or some other "experience", and Ill set a new course and head my little boat in a new direction seeking some new dream... But I certainly feel no ugency about it for the present.

... But, "dreams are free" I hear the old me say... "Why not get as many as you can", "More is always better" etc.
But I guess I disagree with the old me, the with the "common wisdom", in some ways these days...
I actually dont believe that more is always better... What good is accumulating millions of dollars if youve already got more than enough for your needs? What good is taking more classes when you have not learned anything from the ones youve already take?, What good is having a larder full of food that you cant possibly ever eat?.. No, I think we have it very wrong with our blind credo of  "more is always better". It leaves us ever illcontent, and I think it makes us an ever unhappy society!
And in many ways I admit Im still very much of that credo, but I seem to be becoming less so.
So, at least for the time being I find myself to be "well content" and very greatfull for it!
Yes there are some things still on my list that Id like to achieve if I get the opportunity in this life, but for the most part they are things that I feel are largely not in my control. And so, while my little boat chugs along at the mercy of the winds and currents of life, I shall bide my time quietly, and happily live the life of a more or less "wealthy" man on the experiences and memories I already have :)

... And in a more mundane form, that means I shall be spending my time quietly, working another contract at a "good but un-inspiring" job to earn some money to pay my debts. I shall be trying not to start any big projects or spend much money. I shall be trying to get more exercise and to be a bit more social... Though I admit that Im all too comfortable these days spending many hours wandering around in my thoughts pondering lifes mysteries, so the social thing just doesnt seem to be that much of a priority at the moment :)

... And though it probably doesnt really qualify as "social" activity, Ive been thinking that I would like to get a cat!... Someone to share my house with, but who doesnt mind if I spend lots of time just being quiet :)

As a bit of a postscript here, I've clearly ascribed these "changes" in myself largely to "growing", but its also quite possible that Im just "tiring", or more likely that its a normal part of the "aging" process and it happens to everyone... But it really doesnt matter why I guess, just that Im gratefull for it :))

... Lets see what the new year brings :) ...

Pretty Flowers

And lastly, I went to an Orchid farm.

Again its essentially a commercial business for raising orchids and they have added a revenue side stream through tourist operations. I certainly wouldnt call it an "exciting" activity... Its more a relaxing one.

 You get to see thousands of orchids in flower, all growing in pleasant tropical shade-houses. There are row upon row upon row of them hanging from a high railing and all with absolutely minimal "potting".
These orchids were mostly of the Phalaeonopsis family (there were some others but they were a minority) and they are the ones that you are probably most familiar with. They are just perfect for growing indoors in the average household, but their native habitat is as epiphytes (living in trees rather than on the ground) in shaded tropical forest environments... like here in Thailand.

So, I wandered around for a while and looked at all the pretty flowers and saw how they cultivated them. And I read some of their literature on their particular recommendations for fertiliser mix ratios etc. And I had a cup of tea in their little cafe, and looked at their touristy nick-nacks which were mostly resin encapsulated orchid flowers as paper-weights or as broaches etc... All very pleasant and unexciting :))

On the "eco" front, there is not much of an issue I think... Pretty much everyone will say its fine, though I suppose only a few people would actually want to visit the "farm".

No one worries about "cruelty to plants" and the vast majority of people have no qualms about using flowers as decoration and even discarding the whole plant once the flower has died off. You can feel free to lop the flowers off whenever, and interbreed and hybridise as much as you want... Its just not an issue.
We dont mind "abusing" little orchids and looking at their dismembered parts in our homes just for our aesthetic pleasure...  Little plants are not really an emotional issue for most people.

But it becomes a bit of a different matter when its a big tree it seems...
People seem to get much more emotional about those. But the only difference I can see is that the trees are older and that seems to make us care more, though I cant really justify why... Its not just that trees take a lot longer to grow and have a lot larger effect on the local environment, and so when an established tree gets "removed" then it really effects the rest of the immediate environment, and if it turns out that removing the tree was a mistake then its gonna take a very long time to rectify!... No, people develop emotional attachments to trees.

And like the previous post, many people are happy to eat meat and virtually all people I know dont hesitate to swat at flies, and squish spiders and cockroaches, and eradicate mosquitoes en-mass!... But Ohhh its a different story if you kill a butterfly!
... Hmmm... We people are indeed a conundrum! ... Our emotions are really very rarely well aligned with our rational thoughts on any given subject are they? :))


Well, Thats it for my little eco-comparisons. And thats pretty much it too for my time in SE Asia. Ive just got a day or two more here in the tropical warmth before I head back to the frozen North, there to rejoin work in order to pay for my financial excessesof the past year.
I guess Ill try to make my remaining hours "quality time" with the warmth and the mangoes :))

Flapping and Crawling Critters

Next, I went to see an "Insect Farm"

.... Ohhh CRAP!!
I just lost about an hour and a half of writing on this blog post !!!
... Its just one of the occasional risks of blogging in a "mobile" fashion ... as usual, no sense getting too upset about it... Just do it again :))

... This post discussion is a bit more divisive than the prior "eco" posts, but I think a lot of most peoples issue with mounted butterflies is frankly quite hypocritical...  but I'll get to that all a bit latter :))

OK, so this time I went to see an insect farm. This one is very different to the previous three activities in that this is basically a commercial business that has "added on" a side-stream of revenue from tourism rather than a primarily tourist business... And it clearly shows in the "quality" of the tourist experience too.

And what do insect farms do, well, they "cultivate" exotic insects for sale to both the public and scientific/academic institutions. I guess originally butterflies and such were all collected from "the wild", but as the market for such things has slowly increased over the years, and as we have studied and learned in more detail about the dietary/environmental needs of the insects, it has become feasible to start small businesses that actively farm the insects that are most in demand and are of the higher values .
And so, these days, in pretty much any region in the world where exotic butterflies and insects naturally live, there are small businesses that raise some of the local butterflies for commercial purposes.

And its one of these businesses that I went to have a look at:

This is a prime example of an exotic species that is farmed. Its a sub-species of the large green bird-wing family (Ornithoptera Poseidon) that live in New Guinea and surrounding Islands. It is about 15cm in wingspan, and a mounted specimen is worth several hundred dollars!

And some of the other museum type displays at the start of the little insect farm tour.

A small collection of the beautiful iridescent "Morpho" family of butterflies that I mentioned quite frequently in my blog entries as I rode through central/South America.

This is one of the local species being farmed here... The huge "Atlas" moth...Its a very popular collectors item but is easy to raise and not that rare. Its up to about 20cm across but only fetches about $5 -$10  each.

And these Beetles are HUGE too ...

So, after the little museum section of the tour, they let you go see the actual critters that they are farming... And its not just butterflies... There are al sorts of insects that have "commercial value"... And not just for mounted specimens either. These days there is quite a market for insects that people keep as pets... These large scorpions are a good example

They let me handle one of them too... I was of course careful not to "aggravate" the little guy, but I have to say that I found it to be really quite docile... Not at all playful :)

This is a tiny little (its about 1cm long) pink "flower mantis". They live on flower petles where their camouflage lets them ambush small flying insects that come to get the flower nectar/pollen... amazing evolution.

And a camouflaged "leaf" insect

And then it was off to look at the "larval" stages... lots of pretty caterpillars here :)

This one is huge at about 15cm long!

And then it was into the "butterfly house" where they let the butterflies hatch from their chrysalises and then flap about among their chosen food plants.. where they find a mate and lay eggs... The eggs are collected and the whole process starts again :)

I didnt get to see them "processing" (catching, killing, and mounting) any of the adult butterflies, but I believe it is done pretty much immediately after the adults "hatch". Of course they only kill a percentage of the butterflies that hatch for sale, since they obviously need some adults to breed and continue the "normal" life cycle.

And that was it.... Like I said above, its mostly a commercial business and the tourist thing is an add-on rather than a primary goal of the business. As such, I got pretty much what I expected and was happy I went to see it... But its probably not of much interest to most people and even I would not bother to do it again.

OK, that was the tour...Lets get down to the "eco-thinking" :)...

Again, as I said above, I think most people with "Western" sensibilities do not approve of killing, mounting, and displaying butterflies just for their viewing pleasure!... It seems grisly and gratuitous!... But, as I said, I think that most peoples "objections" dont really stand up to logical scrutiny (although "logic" often has little to do with emotion!)...
But of course, I should clearly state here that I actually have a few mounted butterflies that I display on a wall at home...So I am biased and I may just be going through the process of "self justification"....
The judgement of that and of your own ethical position on the subject, Ill leave to the reader :))

Right, So on the "eco" front:
As I mentioned above, originally these rare butterflies were collected from wild populations... and as expected this was a bad thing as it brought the wild populations into decline and they became endangered.. I dont know of any that were made extinct but I expect specialists in the field could name a few.
But, fortunately, these days the international trade in rare butterflies, along with any endangered wildlife, is regulated so as to try to limit damage to and even help bolster and rebuild native wild populations of the species. The regulation is done by a permit system on any importation of specimens (ether alive or dead). Its called CITIES (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species) and the regulation came into force in 1975. Like all regulation systems its not perfect and there are people who do whatever they can to avoid it and get around it illegally for their own financial gain. And likewise, there are plenty of "consumers" who will buy the item regardless of  it being a permitted and legal "white market" or illegal "black market" item, but in short the CITIES system has helped a lot and is doing a pretty good job (as I understand it).
So, the international trade in rare butterflies is regulated and these businesses make most of their income through international trade...So a good amount of their "product" flows through the legal channels (though Im sure many businesses also service black market demand too).
Oh, and as part of that permit system, The "farms" are also required to release a percentage of their captive bred endangered butterflies back out into the wild to help rebuild wild stocks. The farms also breed saleable species that are not on the "endangered" list since the quality of the raised butterflies is higher than wild captured ones (not battered around by conditions outside the shade house etc)...
And in many cases, the butterfly farming is done in very remote areas by small villages of indigenouse peoples (they are also endangered of course). Its usually intended to provide the community with a "cash crop" in order to try to help the communities transition into the "modern/economic" world... Thats a whole other very complicated subject of course, but in short the butterfly farming is often one of the few commercial opportunities in these areas.... back to the butterflies.
And so, in short I think the farming of butterflies is a good thing... Well, if you consider that they should be allowed to be collected at all.

So, the main aspect of most people's objections to "butterflies for display" is that they are being killed just for our aesthetic satisfaction.... Not really being put to any good use!
My response to that is that if the person objecting eats meat or wears any silk clothing then they are being quite hypocritical!!
As I described in an earlier post, I think that its quite clear that virtually all people can live very happy, full, cheap, and convenient lives as vegetarians (allowing milk and dairy consumption in that definition of "vegetarian"). The Hindus of India have been doing it for centuries and many modern "Western" people do it too. So, if people are prepared to kill sheep, cattle, and chickens etc just for the few moments of pleasant taste as they eat their meal!; then I hardly think it reasonable to complain about killing a butterfly in order to have many years of enjoyment from looking at them... Likewise, I think that most people conveniently remain ignorant of what happens in the silk farming industry... Basically, the silk moth is bred in masses so that the caterpillars will weave their little cocoons of silk thread... Then, the little fellows get boiled alive in water inside their cocoon and the silk thread is unwrapped and spooled up to be later woven into silk fabric for the consumers wearing pleasure!. Each silk worm killed generates a few square centimetres of silk fabric! Again, we are long past the point of NEEDing silk fabric. We can easily substitute synthetics or fine quality wool from non-fatal wool farming of sheep etc!
So, the "killing them for our pleasures" being unacceptable argument seems pretty hollow to me!
Likewise, if Im prepared to eat meat (and I currently do), I cant find fault in people wearing animal furs either... Assuming that the animals are raised (farmed) and killed humanely and the market does not cause the "parallel" demise of the wild animals due to black market demand for the same product (Which is why they ban completely the sale of ivory and the import of crocodile/snake skin leather products in many countries).
Oh, and I also think the concept of "cruelty" becomes more "murkey" on the ethics definition front for insects versus mammals and birds, but suffice it to say that I dont think the farmed insects are treated or killed inhumanely (well certainly not when compared to what the silk worms experience!)

So, thats my take on it personally, and as I am currently a meat eater, I do not find I have a problem with the ethics of displaying butterflies...But thats just the logic of it and as I said, much of the "argument against" is not logical at all; Its emotional... And I admit that I too have a level of emotional response to these things (killing animals be it for food, clothing, or viewing pleasure)... And I also admit that it "feels" like Im slowly drifting toward being a vegetarian, but I think it will be a while yet before I get there :)))

Interestingly, on the butterfly front, I find that one of the more powerfull arguments against displaying them is much more philosophical than emotional or rational... And it is this...
People mount and display the butterflies because they are amazingly beautiful in their colours and shapes and we get great enjoyment from looking at that beauty. But butterflies are virtually impossible to fully appreciate in the wild because they are so timid and transient (as well as many of them only living in remote and inhospitibal locations). And so mounting and displaying them is peoples attempt to grasp and hold onto their beauty...As usual, we humans are trying to assert control over nature in order to satisfy our desires (we do it in all areas of our lives).
... But as I grow and learn, I change, and Im slowly learning that perhaps the greater part of the beauty of life (butterflies included) is exactly that it is so transient!... And that when we grasp it and try to hold onto it, we in fact "kill" an aspect of its beauty... And we cease to appreciate it as much as when it was "there for just a moment"... As I grow, Im slowly learning to "let go" and not need to possess; and to accept that its all only transient and that I should appreciate it all the more "while it lasts" because no matter what I do, I cant actually stop it from passing.

.. So I suspect that for me at least, the days of steaks and mounted butterflies are limited :))

Performing Pachyderms

I went to see an "Elephant Park"...

Again, its a less than an hour from the city here, and again the business is ostensibly about "saving the elephants".. or at least the culture of working elephants...

You see, humans have been training and using elephants for thousands of years. They were effectively the "super-weapon" of pre-industrial armies, but I think they were mostly useful in the peaceful work of "heavy lifting" in activities like tree harvesting. The elephant has an especially important part in Thai culture. And even with the advent of industrialisation, the working elephant still retained its vital role in the North of Thailand where selective logging in this steep mountainous country with big expensive machines is far more destructive, expensive, and difficult than with elephants...
And so the tradition of training elephants has continued till the modern day...

And its an involved process to train an elephant...
The un-born babies gestate for about two years and then are allowed to "do their thing" more or less after they are born till about the age of five... At which time they start their "training" and it takes another five years or so before they are at all useful at work (I think). Then they go on to live till about 80 years of age! and thats a long time... Its longer in fact than a persons normal "working career", and so one elephant usually has two mahouts (trainer/driver/carer... its a very personal relationship); One older "experienced" trainer and one younger "junior" trainer (often a father-son pair)... One other point to note is that there is a long-standing imperial decree/law, that all working elephants must be released back into the wild at the age of 60 to live out their remaining time naturally... Clearly the Thai people have a deep seated respect for these animals!

And all that is just dandy but for the fact that modern Thailand has become pretty much deforested (especially in the South)... And so,about 10 years ago, the Thai government passed a law to try to preserve the little remaining natural forest in the North that all logging was outright banned!... And that left the bulk of the remaining trained elephants (and their mahouts) "unemployed" !

And elephants take a great deal of effort to "keep" as they need lots of attention and lots of expense to feed etc. So, the end result of the new law was that there was no-longer any "functional" role for these people and animals that were such a valued and long-standing part of Thai heritage and culture... And many of the animals were becoming neglected/ malnourished and maltreated... Very sad...

And these "elephant shows/zoos/parks" that have come into being around the Northern cities are an attempt to preserve that culture and protect the elephants.

At this particular park there were about 200 elephants of assorted ages and the tourism activities ranged from simply watching a "show" of assorted elephant skills/tricks, to buying elephant paintings (really!) to going for half/hour long rides, to spending days or even weeks learning some of the skills of a mahout and how to "drive" and care for your elephant.

I opted for seeing the show and going for a bit of a ride. I didnt feel the need to learn how to "drive" one since I didnt think that an elephant would likely be my "choice of transport" for commuting and running errands in the Canadian city of Vancouver.... and I really dont know how well they corner or break in snowy conditions either! :)

Anyway, here are some pictures:

First off they had a bit of a bath show... elephants really seem to like being in the water :)

Then all the tourists walked up to an "arena" and the elephant show began!

First off was a demonstration of how comfortable the elephants were with their mahouts... they climbed up and over and down on all sides with the elephants assisting by putting legs out at odd angles as steps or proffering their trunk to assist etc... And there were demonstrations of how careful and sensitive the elephants were about their mahouts by treading gently (even playfully) on a mahout laying on the ground... and then "picking him up" to standing position with their trunk etc.
 

And then there were the "stupid elephant tricks" from using hula hoops on their trunks, to playing socker, and "darts" and hide the mahouts hat etc... Good old circus stuff! :)

And then there was the painting...
Five elephants simultaneously painting  their own "art" for about 10 minutes...
The mahoute dips the paint brushes in paints of their chosen colours and then puts the brush in the elephants trunk... And the elephant then paints a few strokes with it...and then the mahout takes the brush back and dips it in the paint again... repeat till done!
You are watch while they do this and you can definitely see the precision and delicacy of the elephants work and you can equally see the different "styles" and preferences of each elephant too!
... But, the mahout always has their hand behind the elephants ear and Im not sure what sort of signalling is going on and so Im not sure how much of the painting is fully the "creative output" of the elephant alone... A considerable amount of it may be being "suggested" by the mahout too!
... But, it definitely left me believing that elephants are at least as smart as dogs and probably smarter... though in a definitely "ponderous" way :))

Definite "individual styles" !

And finally, there was a demonstration of the old log moving skills that required three elephants to work in a very coordinated "team"... good stuff :)

And then the show was over and the elephants all lined up and formed something of a gauntlet for the tourists to have to go through to leave... The elephants wanted bananas and sugarcane, and their mahouts wanted monetary tips... tourist , children, mahouts, elephants, trunks stealing bunches of bananas, and laghhs and squeels and snorts etc... quite fun :)

Again, I found the "textures" of the elehants skin and hair very interesting... Very bristly creatures and their skin was most definitely very "leathery" (of course I guess!).

And then, I went for a half hour ride around the local area... actually, half an hour doesnt get you very far at all... they are a very slow mode of transportation!
And it has to be said, not that comfortable either!... A very "lurchy" experience.. (far more-so than a horse or even a camel) and particularly so when going "down hill".
... So, lurching, I went several hundred metres around the park buildings and up a hillside, down through the forest, up a short stream, and back to where Id started.

... So, that was the experience, and now the "eco-assessment"

Well, as I said its not just about saving the elephants,its more about saving the "culture" of people working with elephants, although, given the demise of so much native elephant habitat, saving the "wild" elephants is also a closely interrelated issue. And so I was not at all perturbed by pretty much complete lack of "natural" about anything. Likewise, its all run in a distinctly "Thai" style with an almost complete absence of any "modern" developed world type facilities ... Again I found this entirely appropriate.
The "show" option aspect of the park is relatively cheap at $10 or less, but going for a ride cost me about $28 which was more than "cuddling a tiger"!, so I consider that quite expensive by local standards... But, there were still "hordes" of tourists there so I guess they know what they are doing business wise :)

So, given their goals and the historical/political/environmental circumstance that have precipitated the pachyderms predicament ...(sorry, I couldnt help myself :)  ), I find that I am entirely in favour of this eco-enterprise. The elephants have always been "performing" tricks for people, and so this is just a new set of "relevant" tricks that are replacing an old set of no longer relevant ones... A more or less natural evolution.
... That said, I have to say that I didnt find it that entertaining or exciting and I would not myself go and do it again...

On to the next "eco-attraction"...