Handing it all Over

My friend Christine is one-up on all those people who got their wealth through divorce settlements. They only got half of the wealth of their Ex, and they had to marry them and presumably put up with years of unhappy relationship to get it.

I just signed over a “Power of Attorney” document for Christine and she now has unlimited power over all my possessions (not just half). She could sell my house and my motorbike and whatever else I have, and with the money she gets from that and any other money in my bank accounts, again, she can do whatever she wants!
She could go blow it all in Vegas on the Black-Jack tables and I couldnt do a thing about it!

And she didn’t even have to marry me to get it! I just gave it to her…

Admittedly though, she has had to put up with me as a friend for nearly fifteen years…
Even I have to admit that thats a rather demanding qualification. I guess that makes up for the “not having to marry” thing though :)
It’s a good thing that I trust her implicitly not to "screw me over" while Im out of the country :)

Baking day?

Here in Vancouver, the snow continues to fall.
A white Christmas will certainly be had!

There were a couple of nice weather days since the last dump and I decided to brave the roads and see what it was like to ride my motorbike around....
Answer... Not Good!

The type of heavy wet snow we get down here on the coast rapidly turns into wet ice when compressed by car wheels and it is very treacherous.
It took me fifteen minutes to get my bike across the fifty metres to the road (driveway and slightly uphill back lane). The surface is not that bad to walk on but with the big heavy bike, it was VERY slippery. I made it out to the road and rode around as I needed for a day and a half, but I had to use EXTREME caution to avoid snow and ice.
I survived and didnt drop the bike but I really dont recommend it. It would be a different story with a smaller/lighter machine like a 250cc off-road bike, but its just a no go with the big bike.

Anyway, that experiment didnt last more than a couple of days because another snow storm has now arrived and the bike is back in the garage where it will stay till the roads are clear of snow and ice!

In the mean time however, my friend I-Fan came over for the day and we "ran amok" in the kitchen... It was "COOKIE fest"... Five different batches of cookies in large quantities were prepared and packaged and have since been dispatched in gift boxes to assorted friends.
The day was quite fun :)))



But now the snow is dumping down again, and Im hunkered down alone listening to music and watching candles :)



Christmas blessings to you all :)))

Snow Day

Nothing too extraordinary, but its very definitely a "snow day" here in Vancouver.
It happens a few times each winter here, but this is the first time that it has happened this year and the first time my only form of transport has been a motorbike.

As you might imagine, this has rather drastically limited my activities for the present!
... and guess which day I had arranged three different appointments for.... Yep, today!

They were, a meeting at the bank to sign off my mortgage, a dental appointment to have my teeth cleaned and checked before I head off to live in the developing world for an indefinite period, and finally, dinner with a friend.

Now, my motorbike runs fine in this weather of course, and it has some "off-road" type tires on it too, but it does only have two wheels and that makes it rather prone to"assuming a horizontal aspect" when things get slippery. Thats not too much of a problem if I just go slow and be careful. The problem is that in the area around my house, its very hilly and the roads are very steep. The lot that my house is on drops 15 meters in a length of 50 meters... thats over a 20% grade!
So, I really dont think its a good idea for me to try to ride my bike around while the snow is dumping down (which it has been for most of the night and all of today). There's about 25cm of snow everywhere at present (it usually melts quite quickly but for the moment it is building up faster than it is melting).
The other really good reason for not trying to ride it is the "Vancouver Drivers" who really dont have much clue about how to deal with these conditions - particularly on hills!

So, after a rather short period of consideration, I canceled my dental appointment and decided to walk/bus to my bank appointment.
It all went well, and I now have a renewed mortgage for five years with a variable interest rate of "prime + 0.85%". The mortgage is for a "huge amount of money" that is over double the amount outstanding on the last mortgage. This is so that I can use the equity in the property to fund "other things" if I want to. I only pay interest on the extra if I draw it out.
This seems like a good plan and gives me lots of flexibility but also gives me plenty of leeway to "hang myself" if I make foolish choices... I guess I'll try to avoid doing that :))))
It feels really good to have locked this all down now.
Another step closer to my unknown future!

On the way home from the bank, I walked past a business that makes concrete statues and garden ornaments. It was rather amusing to see all the naked Greek statues standing around in the snow.
The Budha and Adam were looking (as always) detached and self confident respectively, but the women were faring less well... Three of them had got together in a huddle to try to stay warm but one who was by herself looked very forlorn and cold in the snow...










As for that dinner, I'll see if its still snowing later this afternoon.... maybe I'll use the bus again :)

Judgement.

I had an interesting personal experience this past week... and I admit, I thought twice about writing this post! ... But I decided to just go ahead and let it all show :))


I have no idea what caused it, but for over three days there I had significant problems with my digestive system! What that means is this...

One evening I ate a moderate sized meal and later went to bed.
After a couple of hours I began to feel very bloated but was unable to relieve the problem with a visit to the bathroom. The situation was the same for the next three days!
I did not feel nauseous, and I could eat if I wanted, but there was no room for more food inside me, and nothing I tried made any difference (and I tried a bunch of options!). There were no other real symptoms. After a day, it turned to steady "low grade" intestinal cramps and a slowly increasing headache as well...
Now, I have never experienced anything like this before, and I tend to have a very robust GI system so this was "unprecedented" as well as being uncomfortable and after a few days, quite unnerving!
The later stages of this were on a weekend when doctors offices were closed (or I would have used them) but fortunately it "resolved" its self on Sunday evening... and I have now "moved" on. - and again I do not know what caused things to stop.

So, thats all rather more information than Im sure you would care to know about, but its really only the background to this post.
It was what went on in my mind that matters...
I really dont know what goes on in other peoples minds but I figure that for the most part, I am the same as everyone else. That said, I will now share my hypochondria :)


As I said, it was quite unnerving after a few days, and my little mind was running rings around its self trying to figure out what was going on (since as I said, this had never happend to me befor and there was no precipitating event that I could detect), what could have caused it, and how to make it stop. I didnt do it all by myself though, I consulted a couple of knowledgeable people I knew and listened to suggestions and responded with a logical analysis etc. and basically tried not to blow it out of proportion, - It was definitely a constriction or blockage in the upper colon or the lower duodenum (small intestine) - everyone agreed. And after three days with no apparent cause, and absolutely no progress, and slowly increasing discomfort, my mind (perhaps minorly addled at that!) decided to confront some of those darker possibilities...

What can cause a blockage in the small intestine.... Very little!
But if thats where the problem was then a very strong candidate for the cause is "The Big C"
Yes... Cancer! Nobody, but Nobody likes to think about that possibility!

But I think that through one thing and another, at some time in our past, many of us have had some personal experience that has made us consider the possibility that we have it...
For myself, the last such incident was a few years ago when I had a small skin "feature" suddenly and without cause, decided to flare up and become irritated, and enlarging, and not healing... I went to the doctor and he agreed it was "not good", so we cut it out and did a biopsy - Result: Not malignant... phew!

That time I got away with it but I also went through the same mental process as I did this weekend while waiting for the result. When I thought about the possibility of a "positive" test result, my pulse would quicken, my blood pressure would rise, and with a rising sense of panic my thoughts would go something like ...
NOOO... IM NOT READY!, THATS SO UNFAIR... HOW THE HELL DO I AVOID THIS!........etc.
Then Id have to get a hold of my thoughts and crank the control back on....
Im guessing you know how it goes!

The point is that you have the very real possibility of dying in a none too pleasant way over a probably drawn out time, and in the very near future!
Its a very real very personal and unavoidable threat to your life!
I can think of virtually nothing other than cancer or a degenerative terminal disease that has this effect.

I think my response described above is probably a pretty normal one for most people.
I'll leave it to you to think about, but dont kid your self; You cant sit there and think "nah I wouldn't have got worked up, I would have thought like this instead...".
There is just no way you can fake that kind of set-up on your mind to see how you will respond.
Its either a real threat or its not!
And you are facing your imminent, unpleasant death - but with time to think about it....

JUDGEMENT!


So I had myself one of those hypochondria induced experiences.... but this one was different for me...

This time, my response was more along the lines of:
"Oh...thats a bit disappointing...bugger!..... Oh well, I guess we'll just see what happens..."
And that was it!

I dont know what you think, but I found my own response to be quite unexpected!
Now, it was far from impassive!; my pulse did quicken, but it was very composed and accepting and open. There are things I would rather I had the opportunity to yet do in this life, and I would certainly prefer not to have an unpleasant death; But it also seems that I am not as strongly attached to most of my future desires as I used to be, and Im also way more able to deal with an unpleasant future!

I think this is a very good thing.
I think I am making progress!
I wonder where it goes from here?


Oh well, I guess we'll just see what happens :)))

On with the Plan....What Plan?

Yesterday was my last day of work... Again!

I have finished my contract with PMC. I was there for about three months in total. Although it was not what I "wanted" to be doing, it was not unpleasant either. It brought in some good money, the work was not stressful, and the people were nice enough to work with.
The truth of it though, is that I was only able to do it happily because I knew it was only short term. I have to admit that if there had not been an end date and/or if I had any sort of career or personal aspirations attached to the work, then I would have found it frustrating and disappointing. But thats a bit of an unfair statement too, since if I had had those ideals then it would not have been a job that I would have accepted.
But as things are, it was perfect :)

The down side, has been that it has meant that while I was working, I was moving very slowly on getting the other stuff I want to do done. But now, I can get back to that other stuff...

And that other stuff is "mobilizing".
I dont actually have that much left to do here in Vancouver before I am "free". The mortgage details for the house are just about done, and I only have to "get rid of" a few largish items of furniture and my marine aquarium (and its livestock). Then I have to find a long term lease tenant for the house, and pack up my remaining stuff into the storage container..... and Im off! :))))

Off to where?
Well, there is a "where", but "the plan" does not go beyond that, so I dont really know where the big picture leads at all!
The whole of the plan at present is to get "free" and then to go back to Guatemala and see what happens...
I dont know the date,
I dont know how I will be traveling there,
I dont know what I will be bringing with me,
I dont know what I will be doing there,
I dont know how long I'll be staying...

All I know is that it'll be a start point for whatever comes next..
And I have no idea what that will be :)))))


And while that sounds very bold and exciting and "free", Im sure that most people reading this will immediately sense their own feelings about doing something like this and you'll all feel the "Oooh, that could lead to trouble!" and "Id need a bit more of a plan to do that" or "I'll be happy enough to just read about it" etc - And I dont blame you one bit! :)

And I can assure you that those "instinctive responses" are WAY STRONGER when you are sitting here in my shoes, on the brink of actually doing it!!
Yes, the work I just did brought me in some money to last a year or so of very cheap living (only in a "developing world" country). But No, (not least, after the recent economic changes in the world) there is no way that I have enough financial resources to "retire" as most of us would normally imagine it. And I'll be leaving behind my support network and many friends and a whole world of possibilities that could be as exciting and open as anyone could want!..... So why do it?

Hmmm, well, something deeper is overriding those "instinctive responses".
Those responses are made up of practical rational thinking and surface emotions and deeper primitive emotions as well - finances, health, love, friendship, fear, security, excitement, novelty etc. etc. - All of it!
Sure, its fine to take a holiday and go travel. Sure its fine to make that holiday a year or two long if you have the resources to do it. Sure its fine to "pick up and go" and start again somewhere new. But I think there are very few of us (particularly those with good successful, professional background like mine) who would do it without any sort of a plan... And Ive always been like that too... Our whole social upbringing is based on "having a plan" - At least some sort of forward looking strategy/safety net - more or less, from "cradle to grave".
And that is exactly what I am very deliberately NOT doing!

Something deeper is telling me to "ignore the worries" - After all, there are infinite possibilities in that department, and I could make as many reasons to "Not go" as my heart desires - all based on fear. And I assure you, it takes quite a bit of Will to override those concerns.
But Im also Not choosing to hold onto the other set of responses that I'll collectively say are based on "excitement and novelty". These are the things that we can use to pull us forward in these kind of situations, and Ive used them plenty of times in the past with climbing mountains and other such expeditions. The truth would be that this was the main method I used to propel myself into going on the motorbike tour to Ecuador and back eighteen months ago - That trip was really only ever thought of as an extended holiday. I always expected to be back to some sort of a "regular life" in a city eventually.

This time though, Im trying to let the future look after its self as much as possible. Yes, Im using positive emotions to do it, but they are deeper concepts of (for want of better words) "undirected hope/trust" rather than the more surface concepts of excitement and novelty. And this time there is no pre-concept of where life goes after... I'll just have to wait and see

Hmm, Im getting a bit ahead of myself here... Im still sitting here in Vancouver at the moment...
We'll just have to wait and see what happens yet.

But we are getting significantly closer to the "end of the plan" :)))