On with the Plan....What Plan?

Yesterday was my last day of work... Again!

I have finished my contract with PMC. I was there for about three months in total. Although it was not what I "wanted" to be doing, it was not unpleasant either. It brought in some good money, the work was not stressful, and the people were nice enough to work with.
The truth of it though, is that I was only able to do it happily because I knew it was only short term. I have to admit that if there had not been an end date and/or if I had any sort of career or personal aspirations attached to the work, then I would have found it frustrating and disappointing. But thats a bit of an unfair statement too, since if I had had those ideals then it would not have been a job that I would have accepted.
But as things are, it was perfect :)

The down side, has been that it has meant that while I was working, I was moving very slowly on getting the other stuff I want to do done. But now, I can get back to that other stuff...

And that other stuff is "mobilizing".
I dont actually have that much left to do here in Vancouver before I am "free". The mortgage details for the house are just about done, and I only have to "get rid of" a few largish items of furniture and my marine aquarium (and its livestock). Then I have to find a long term lease tenant for the house, and pack up my remaining stuff into the storage container..... and Im off! :))))

Off to where?
Well, there is a "where", but "the plan" does not go beyond that, so I dont really know where the big picture leads at all!
The whole of the plan at present is to get "free" and then to go back to Guatemala and see what happens...
I dont know the date,
I dont know how I will be traveling there,
I dont know what I will be bringing with me,
I dont know what I will be doing there,
I dont know how long I'll be staying...

All I know is that it'll be a start point for whatever comes next..
And I have no idea what that will be :)))))


And while that sounds very bold and exciting and "free", Im sure that most people reading this will immediately sense their own feelings about doing something like this and you'll all feel the "Oooh, that could lead to trouble!" and "Id need a bit more of a plan to do that" or "I'll be happy enough to just read about it" etc - And I dont blame you one bit! :)

And I can assure you that those "instinctive responses" are WAY STRONGER when you are sitting here in my shoes, on the brink of actually doing it!!
Yes, the work I just did brought me in some money to last a year or so of very cheap living (only in a "developing world" country). But No, (not least, after the recent economic changes in the world) there is no way that I have enough financial resources to "retire" as most of us would normally imagine it. And I'll be leaving behind my support network and many friends and a whole world of possibilities that could be as exciting and open as anyone could want!..... So why do it?

Hmmm, well, something deeper is overriding those "instinctive responses".
Those responses are made up of practical rational thinking and surface emotions and deeper primitive emotions as well - finances, health, love, friendship, fear, security, excitement, novelty etc. etc. - All of it!
Sure, its fine to take a holiday and go travel. Sure its fine to make that holiday a year or two long if you have the resources to do it. Sure its fine to "pick up and go" and start again somewhere new. But I think there are very few of us (particularly those with good successful, professional background like mine) who would do it without any sort of a plan... And Ive always been like that too... Our whole social upbringing is based on "having a plan" - At least some sort of forward looking strategy/safety net - more or less, from "cradle to grave".
And that is exactly what I am very deliberately NOT doing!

Something deeper is telling me to "ignore the worries" - After all, there are infinite possibilities in that department, and I could make as many reasons to "Not go" as my heart desires - all based on fear. And I assure you, it takes quite a bit of Will to override those concerns.
But Im also Not choosing to hold onto the other set of responses that I'll collectively say are based on "excitement and novelty". These are the things that we can use to pull us forward in these kind of situations, and Ive used them plenty of times in the past with climbing mountains and other such expeditions. The truth would be that this was the main method I used to propel myself into going on the motorbike tour to Ecuador and back eighteen months ago - That trip was really only ever thought of as an extended holiday. I always expected to be back to some sort of a "regular life" in a city eventually.

This time though, Im trying to let the future look after its self as much as possible. Yes, Im using positive emotions to do it, but they are deeper concepts of (for want of better words) "undirected hope/trust" rather than the more surface concepts of excitement and novelty. And this time there is no pre-concept of where life goes after... I'll just have to wait and see

Hmm, Im getting a bit ahead of myself here... Im still sitting here in Vancouver at the moment...
We'll just have to wait and see what happens yet.

But we are getting significantly closer to the "end of the plan" :)))