Business and Friends

"I dont do business with friends"
...or words to that effect.

I think weve all heard that phrase often enough, and likewise I think many of us have used the phrase. And Ive heard the phrase often, and several times in the recent past too...

And I dont like it at all !!

Why?
Well... Lets look at what we are saying...
We dont do it because too often it damages the friendship!
... And that can only mean that either we are being unfair and greedy as far as our friend is concerned, or, vice versa... and we cant manage to come to an "agreed" fair arrangement...
Is that not a terrible indictment against us/our friends ????

And how does this situation come about?
Well, clearly each of us has a different set of expectations and that is of course the superficial problem. But the deeper issue is that we treat different people in different ways. - Well of course, and so we must since we are each different !... But what I mean here is that we have a distinctly different set of moral/ethical rules for different groups of people... And that I think is a terrible state of affairs!

We treat our immediate family members with one (usually very generous) set of rules, our extended family with another, our close friends with yet another, and finally the general public with another (and usually least generous) set.
That all seems pretty normal and appropriate to most of us I dare say.
... But what is it really saying?

Not to put too fine a point on it, its saying that is OK to "screw over" people that I dont know!
In essence, the further removed from me another person is, then the less moral behaviour I feel I am required to exhibit towards them!
So, if we dont have close personal ties (family or friendship) with someone then we will do "business" with them!

And that about captures in a nut-shell what I LOATH about "business ethics and capitalism" !!!!
Somewhere along the way we seem to have come up with the idea that we can have different morals for use with different groups of people...WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!!

... Evolutionarily it made sense of course, but, as I mentioned in the "Run Rabbit Run" post, I think our species is a bit past that stage now and we are actually doing each other and our planet great harm by persisting with these "old" ways!

Where did we get the idea that its OK to disengage our morals from business???
Everyone likes to think that business ethics is an "amoral" set of rules rather than an "immoral" set.. (ie morals are simply not involved at all)...
But it seems to me that the darker truth is that in fact the opposite is really the truth...
When it comes to business, if its not "against the laws of the land" then its OK...
And we have the underlying expectation that "the laws of the land" uphold and protect ALL the agreed social "moral requirements" for business interactions (Which of course they dont and cant)...
So therefore, we seem to think that if we dont break the law, then its Ok and we are still "Good" people... However, we also seem to think that we can bend and fudge and "weezle" as much as we want without losing our moral virtue!...
... How convenient! :))

But what is that really saying... We have decided to separate our morals and business actions... We let "Government" be responsible for the morals part and "we can do whatever we want that the government doesnt forbid"...(and in many cases that gets streached to "we can do what ever we want as long as we dont get caught by the Government!)
To me, thats an Abhorrent outlook!!
... after all, what is the government, if not US?
WE make the laws (albeit in a slow and circuitous process)!!!

So I think since we are ultimately responsible for both the laws (social morals) and the business choices ... Then we should take responsibility for both aspects of our business interactions IN PERSON every time, at the time... Its not OK to defer the moral responsibility to "the authorities" while we just think about the business aspects.

This separation of business and morals is completely schizophrenic... And we know it too!... Or we would be just as happy to do "Business" with our dear old grandmother or any other family members or friends just the same as with any other stranger!

"But thats what everyone does, and they've always done it that way" I hear you say!
... and I dont deny it... Yes, people have been interacting in this way for as long as there have been different tribes... millions of years!

All I can say to that is that it doesnt make it any more right/moral!
The same argument could be (and Im sure was, and sadly, sometimes still is) made for racism etc... And thats clearly a way of living "whos time is near past" ... Thank heavens!


"Well, Im not gonna change because Ill just get "taken advantage of" by everyone else !"
... Which is like saying "Im not gonna stop shooting till the enemy does!"... And so, the world stays "at war" forever!
Do we really need some big strong parent to come along and tell the silly little children to "stop fighting and play nicely" ?
... How very very sad!

The world will NEVER be a better place until we take the first step to make OURSELVES better people...Only then is there even a chance for the world to be better!
... WE each have to take the first step... even if its just a small one!

For my own part, I am not perfect either, but I do try to take the first step on this front and I accept that there are lots of people out there who will "make the most of it"... And I can live with that :)
What does however make me a little sad is that there are also some few friends of mine who have been "disappointed" in me on rare occasions when I have had financial interactions with them because I didnt give them "a better deal than for the public"... Despite it being what I consider to be a very generous arrangement for them (or anyone). :(
What can ya do?
I just have to "suck it up" I guess :)

But in simple terms, thats how I think "business" should really be...
I think as far as business matters are concerned, if we are doing a deal, then if we are not happy doing the same deal with our Mum or our Brother etc. Then we are probably being a little immoral!

As Ive said before and Ill say again...
There is no "Us" and "Them"... Its all just "Us" !

... And there will be no peace and harmony on this planet until we realise it and act accordingly!