A Little Prayer

Those who are religious will likely be offended here - brace your selves.

It seems to me that everybody prays, myself included.
I know that's a bold statement, but when you get right down to it and "the chips are down", and things are looking bleak, I think we all call on something "larger" to intervene and help us out. Now, for myself and other erstwhile "non-religious" folk, we only do this in real adversity and only when there are no other options and we really don't want what is happening to be the way it is. But I stand by my statement, I think everyone prays.

Sidebar:
I recall someone at some point telling my that the psychological origin of this behavior is likely derived from our childhood. When something bad, and out of our control happened, we would call for Mum or Dad. They of course seemed all powerful to our little minds and they would intervene, and save the day. So, when we are all grown up and something that we cant control and is bad happens, our instinct is to call for a bigger better version of the Mum and Dad of our childhood. Rings true to me...

Back to the story:
Now, in more mundane situations, I have always felt a little self conscious at ceremonies where there is a public prayer . It feels wrong for me to say something that I don't believe in - though I only feel it with the reference to the deity involved... The rest of the sentiments involved are always good and I have no problems with them.

Now off on the tangent of my problem with God!
Well, its not really a problem with God, its a problem with the crappy religion (note, the word is not "religious") experiences of my life. Which is to say the crappy way that the religious instructors "pitch" their God to the general public.
Now I can only speak to my own experiences here and it is undoubtedly different for others. However, throughout my early life, all I ever got from the clergy (generally Christian based religions) that crossed my path was - If your bad, you go to hell and if your good you go to heaven, and by the way, we are the judge of what is good and bad. Oh, and here are some rather dull songs that we can all sing together, and here are some very old and wondrous tales but don't expect any miracles in your practical life.
That's a bit simplistic, but more or less, that is what they were selling.

As I got older and did some of my own thinking but still only experiencing these very limited representatives of God in my world, I still found things wanting... I mean, any God that will damn any non-believer to hell just because they don't believe in God! That means all those people throughout history who have not had the good fortune to meat someone who is Christian! That's BULLSHIT! Likewise, the fervor of the Christian missionaries (and any other religion for that matter) and all the horrors and atrocities that have been committed against innocent indigenous folk throughout the ages, it all just makes me sick!
Then I did more thinking and I thought about a situation where two otherwise identical people have to make a moral choice. They both make "the right" choice, but one is motivated by their belief in God and the other (non-religious) is motivated by their belief in "just doing good". So now I get to decide who I have more respect for... and the answer is the one motivated by just doing good. Now, I know that most enlightened religious folk will say that they are both the same thing but that's not what was being sold to me...you get the point.
The basic point here is that any God that uses fear to coerce belief in any form whatsoever is no God of mine, and never will be!

So now that we have a little insight into my rather lacking experiences of youth, back to the problem of praying. So the reference to God is a problem. Likewise, I have not found resonance with other religious behaviors like blessings etc. And, now, here at the meditation centre, there are lots of little praying ceremonies (at the start and end of every meditation session etc). So, what to do in these situations?
Well, as I have said, I do actually pray, just not to a deity. If a deity gets mentioned in a prayer, I feel guilt if I say it and don't believe it.
So, I made a tiny little prayer that works for me:

Thank you for today.
May I make the best possible use
of all the opportunities and experiences that come my way.
May I heal, may I grow and may I navigate my choices well.

and I can say that, and I feel no guilt, and it makes me smile :)

Maybe its useful for you too :)