Resuming Transmission

Note: This was written during the silence but not posted (since letting stuff out is OK but not taking in any new distractions. Likewise some of the following posts were written during the silence.)

This is BLISSFUL!

Yes, three days without anybody talking to me, and three days without having to listen to mostly empty prattle.... ahhhh :)

I could easily do more of that. In fact I think I like the whole of the human race way better when they are not talking. - hmm, that reflects quite strongly on me I guess :)
But seriously, when people are not filling in time with social chit-chat, they spend almost no time standing around blocking doorways and pathways and in the kitchen, if they are at the stove or fridge or sink, then they are actually involved in using that facility and not just being in the way. This has meant that a huge amount of my usual frustrations in a social kitchen just are not there. I expect not having a frustrated grumpy me around the place has made other peoples lives better too :)

Sidebar:
The social banter and generally interrupted activities of life are not really a problem for other people, just for me. I seem to do almost everything at about twice the rate of a normal person. This means that I tend to get easily frustrated when I am unintentionally obstructed by other people going at their slower rates, and of course, other people cant figure out why I am in such a hurry or why I get frustrated. I admit, that it means that I am spending a little too much time living in the future rather than the present, but even when I stop and remind myself to be in the moment, I still move way faster than other people. Ive felt guilty about this behavior for quite a while... though mostly because other people seem to want me to feel guilty about it! But Ive thought about it carefully and I just plain like to do things efficiently and quickly. I think there is nothing wrong with it and in this regard I'm perfect as I am, and while I do aim to seriously reduce my frustration levels, I don't plan to feel guilty about doing things quickly any more!
I will of course still have to continue to try not to let my rate of activity be a disturbance to everyone else - that will still be a challenge! - Ahh, that's off my chest, so now we can move on :)

Back to the week of silence:
I admit, that over the last few days I did slip up a few times and I probably uttered a total of about a six or seven words. Mostly it was a hello to someone when I met them unexpectedly on a path around town. There were also a couple of one word comments that I made when something funny happened...hmmm I think it would be a good thing if I get a better handle on that behavior. Don't get me wrong, I think the comments I make are very funny, but other people are a bit liable to "not get it" and I hadn't realized that I was quite so impulsive in releasing such comments to the world. Oh well, more to work on.

Each day has gone something like this:
Up at 6:20am and immediately do a half hour of meditation in my room.
Down to Yoga class for an hour at 7am
Back to my room for another half hour meditation at 8am.
Breakfast at 8:30am - just peeling tropical fruit and eating it.
Off to the herb garden to sit and "connect" with the "physical" world at 9am
Contemplation and writing notes about my physical world at 9:30am
Back to the "compound" at 10am for a sauna
Off down to the lake for a long swim at 10:30am
Dry off and contemplate/make notes on my "emotional" world at 11am
Back to compound again at 11:30am for lunch - usually a couple of Avocados and a fruit shake
Pottering around for an hour or so. - my time.
In my room for half an hour meditation at 1pm
Then contemplating and making notes on my "Mental/intellectual" world at 1:30pm
Off to the "temple" (its a big pyramid) to meditate for half an hour at 2pm
Then contemplating and making notes on my "Spiritual" world at 2:30pm
Then another hour and a half of my own time.
Then back to the temple for an hour long group meditation session at 5pm
Then make dinner (usually vegetable soup) and clean up.
Then off to my room to do my own thing since there is not a lot of chat! :)

So, that's what my days looked like. Each day we worked on different aspects of our four "realities" - ie what our goals are, where we are now, advantageous and disadvantageous factors for achieving goals etc.
This is all familiar stuff to me since I do it every year (usually in January) just for my own benefit anyway. I don't usually divide it up into the four categories that they do here but it is the same stuff.
One difference here is that there is no real place for experiential type goals as they get captured under the Emotional heading - ie things that make me feel happy. I usually have quite a list of these - like flying my paraglider etc.
Anyway, after reviewing the list it looked quite familiar. There were of course some differences as always, and these include the removal of any more big mountain climbing trips, as well as the idea of sailing in a yacht for an extended time (thanks to that crossing of the Caribbean!). And there were the new additions of a committed meditation program and the idea of further motorbike voyages. On the whole though, it was the usual list.

You probably noticed that there is a lot of meditation involved here. And for my part I am quite new at this. I am as yet unable to maintain a "quiet mind" (well, I get more of a temporary stalemate situation where I have to maintain high concentration to block out the constant barrage of stuff that wants to come in) for more than about a minute and it takes a good deal of effort. You think Your mind is full of crap!....You should see the rate that stuff pops up in mine! - Its like a bloody machine gun firing range in here!

Anyway, I spend a good deal of effort clearing away the crap and I am slowly getting better. I spend the rest of my time in my head trying to figure out what to do in here! That is to say I am experimenting with what effects and sensations I can get happening. There is a lot to try and its all very subjective, so its really hard to figure out if I am working in good directions or just wasting my time on a dead end. There are also very few people I can talk to about this stuff since the staff here at the "school" are largely inaccessible for chatting - cant blame them, Id like my own private time as well.
By the time the day was over, I was usually quite tired out and my mind/brain felt like mush.

Needless to say, I have been sleeping quite a lot lately :)