Day four of the silence did not start out proceeding in a very effective fashion!
I couldn't manage to get any good meditation time in in the first half of the day. I got watered while laying in the garden by the gardener, The wind was strong and the waves on the lake were huge, so swimming was quite the chore. Then while clambering out of the lake, the waves knocked me around and I got a cut foot... not having a great time I must say.
So I worked through it anyway and I must say that the diet of fruit only is not making me feel at all bad. I am barely noticing it as an issue at all. The last meditation task was again alone in the group meditation space and I usually have a good session here and get some sort of peace. Today however, it was really hard work. I was really struggling to keep my mind quiet. When I had more or less decided that today was going to just be one of those days, things happened rather rapidly...
I could feel the pressure in my forehead getting stronger, then the sort of swimmy inner colours that I see when I meditate started to get brighter and lighter, then a sort of spinal tingling (like when something suddenly startles you) started up my back and then the colours got even lighter and brighter until ...it went white!
There was Light! - (really bright - white out!)
And there was ringing in my ears
And I got a hot flush over my head and my brain went blank...
And then after about half a second the colours came back and I got sweat around the sides of my head and the tingling subsided.... hmmm
So I still had the colours going on and I deliberately tried to re-evoke the feeling, and after about ten to fifteen seconds I managed to do it again. Then I got one more shot at it before I couldn't manage it any more, and came out of meditating....
Holy Celestial Fire Batman!, What was that!!!
Now it may not have been THE LIGHT but it was definitely A LIGHT.
Ive only been doing this meditation stuff for 29 days, so Id be rather surprised to have reached "enlightenment", and anyway, I'm sure I'm still full of all my usual human frailties after the event just like before.
To describe it, Id say it felt just like an orgasm but it was up in my head, not lower down as usual. I'm pretty sure it was just a physiological effect and my brain released some sort of endorphin (pineal or pituitary gland Id guess) and that is all well and good, but the real question is "where did my mind go?" Trouble is, I was not there long enough to be able to tell.
One thing is for sure though... It felt really good and Id do it again if I could!
...
Why hasn't anyone told us about this before! - I'm sure it is actually in many of the books I choose not to read :)
This isn't sex (no fun before or after, just the fireworks) but its pretty damn good!
...
This explains why all those Tibetan monks are able to stay celibate up in their monasteries!
...sneaky little rascals! - Whole new take on "Dirty Minds"
And I'm in silence too, so I cant talk to anyone about it! I´ll have to wait till silence is over tomorrow night before I ask around for more learned input on the subject.
But for now, the question is, "I wonder if it will happen again?"
I don't know; We´ll have to wait and see - I suppose that would effectively be "Mental Masturbation"... But not tonight dear... I'm too tired!
We´ll see what happens tomorrow, but I don't know what the likelihood is. Usually it takes me several more days to get back to some sort of event that I get for the first time - Just how it seems to go. Also, tomorrow is not the same schedule - We have no food and I don't get to use the main meditating space, and my room is not as good, so I expect things will be different.
Turned out to be a good day after all... Cant wait for what happens next!